


Fathers' Day

by geri_chan



Series: Always [15]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Family, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-07 16:33:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3177167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geri_chan/pseuds/geri_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dylan and Theodore decide to celebrate a Muggle holiday with their fathers. </p><p>This was written for <a href="http://asylums.insanejournal.com/lupin_snape/152582.html">Family Fest</a> on lupin_snape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally archived on Ink Stained Fingers on 05/25/08. 
> 
> Much thanks to red_day_dawning, bonfoi, jbfrancis2000, shipchan, and persevero for giving me some excellent [plot bunnies](http://community.livejournal.com/lupin_snape/1384976.html) to work with when I had writer's block!

It was the middle of June, and Theodore had been given leave from his apprenticeship to come home for a few weeks to spend time with his family. They'd had a celebratory dinner at Snape Manor last night, and today Theodore and Dylan had gone to Hogsmeade to meet up with their friends and significant others--or at least, that was the plan. It actually turned out to be more of a double date, since Blaise and Hermione were the only ones free that day. It was Hermione's day off from her job at the apothecary's, and of course as a teacher, Blaise had the entire summer free. But Goyle was busy at his job in Werewolf Support, while Crabbe was busy setting up his new Thestral carriage business with Luna; Draco was helping his employer, Cassidy Sinclair, with some new invention that was probably going to become the next hot-selling novelty item in the wizarding world; Harry was off with Shacklebolt and Tonks on an Auror assignment; Ron had gone to some exotic tropical location with Mr. Greengrass, his future father-in-law, to look for new specimens for the flower shop; and Damien, after years of joking that he would become a Quidditch star someday, had actually been recruited by the Kenmare Kestrels as a Chaser. It was only a reserve position at the moment, but still, he was an officially employed professional Quidditch player.  
  
"His dad still can't believe it," Dylan said with a grin. "For the past two years, he's been lecturing Damien about the need to settle down and be responsible and find a good job, and right out of school, he gets hired by a Quidditch team, just like he always said he would!"  
  
"Well, he's living out his dream and getting paid for it, so good for him!" Hermione laughed. "I guess we all are, aren't we? Even if our jobs aren't as glamorous as Damien's."  
  
"Yes, that's true; we're all doing work that we enjoy," Blaise agreed. "I'm even getting a promotion."  
  
"Really?!" Theodore exclaimed. "You never said anything about that in your letters!"  
  
"That's because I wanted to tell you in person," Blaise replied, grinning proudly. "I'll be a full Professor next term, not just an assistant to Binns!"  
  
Dylan and Theodore slapped him heartily on the back in congratulations, while Hermione said, "That's wonderful; I'm so happy for you! So you'll be planning and teaching the History of Magic classes on your own now?"  
  
"Yes, I'm excited about it," Blaise replied. "Although it's a bit daunting to realize that I'm responsible for all the lesson plans now."  
  
"You did most of the work this past year, anyway," Dylan pointed out. "All Binns did was repeat the same old lectures over and over again, which most of the students slept through, same as always."  
  
"So what will Professor Binns do now?" Hermione asked curiously. "I don't think that you can fire a ghost, and even if you could, I'd feel a bit sorry for him, even though he is rather boring."  
  
"We're just moving the History classes into another room," Blaise explained. "Binns can remain in his classroom and continue to lecture to his heart's content, since he doesn't seem to care if anyone's listening or not. In fact, he actually seems happier lecturing to an empty room with no one to interrupt him. It will be strange not to have the Headmaster around, though."  
  
Dumbledore had announced his retirement at the end-of-year feast on the last day of school, then promptly disappeared on an "extended vacation" to parts unknown before the public or the press had time to make a fuss about it. Everyone was gossiping about the Headmaster's retirement, and Rita Skeeter was already writing a series of retrospective articles chronicling his career. Several of the Ministry Department Heads had proposed a parade and grand celebration in Dumbledore's honor, but those plans had to be put on hold since no one could find him. Even the new Headmistress, Professor McGonagall, claimed to have no idea where he was, and said that he'd left no forwarding address.  
  
"Albus will turn up when he's good and ready," she had informed the anxious Ministry officials calmly, without any apparent concern.  
  
"Father thinks that she knows where he is, but has been sworn to secrecy," Theodore said. "He says that Dumbledore will probably turn up several months from now, after all the fanfare has died down."  
  
"Professor Snape must be pleased with his promotion," Hermione said.  
  
"I think he'll secretly miss the old man, although he'd never admit it," Dylan said with a smile. "But he is very proud to be the new Deputy Headmaster."  
  
"Remus is getting a promotion, too," Theodore added. "He'll be the new Head of Gryffindor, and Professor Tsubasa will take over the Transfiguration classes full-time."  
  
"I sort of suspected that Dumbledore was thinking of retiring," Hermione said smugly, looking pleased to have been proven right. "Why else would he have hired a second Transfiguration Professor?"  
  
"He told everyone it was a cultural exchange program, but of course that didn't fool you, Hermione," Dylan said smoothly, leaning across the table to give her an admiring smile.  
  
"You're a shameless flatterer, Dylan Rosier," Hermione retorted, but she still flushed, causing Theodore to roll his eyes good-naturedly.  
  
"He is, but it's not really his fault," Blaise chuckled. "I think it's an automatic reflex, something in the Rosier blood."  
  
"I can't help it if I'm naturally charming," Dylan said loftily, and they all laughed. They chatted a little longer about the new changes at Hogwarts, and then the conversation turned to their plans for the summer.  
  
"So what are you going to do for the Professors for Father's Day?" Hermione asked Dylan and Theodore.  
  
"Father's Day?" they echoed, staring at her blankly. They had both become more open-minded since the war had ended, but their knowledge of the Muggle world was still very sketchy.  
  
"Is that some sort of Muggle holiday?" Blaise asked.  
  
"Yes, it's a day for children to express their appreciation to their fathers," Hermione replied. "It's celebrated on the third Sunday of June; there's a Mother's Day in May, too. There's no equivalent holiday in the wizarding world?"  
  
"No," Theodore said, with a wry, slightly bitter smile. "Perhaps it's considered unnecessary because we purebloods are supposed to be aware of our heritage and honor our bloodlines every day of our lives."  
  
"I see," Hermione said uncomfortably, and Dylan smiled at her reassuringly.  
  
"I've never heard of it before, but it sounds like a wonderful idea," he said cheerfully. "I'd really like to do something for Remus and the Professor, to show them how much we appreciate everything they've done for us."  
  
"I would, too," Theodore admitted, the bitterness draining from his face to Hermione's obvious relief. "So what do Muggles do on Father's Day?"  
  
"Well, when I was a little girl, I used to make my dad breakfast in bed," Hermione said, giggling. "And he was kind enough not to complain about the burnt toast and runny eggs! And afterwards, we'd go to the zoo or an amusement park..."  
  
"It sounds more like Children's Day than Father's Day," Dylan observed with a grin.  
  
"Well, when you're a child, you automatically assume that your father would like the same things that you do," Hermione laughed. "The main thing is to do something together as a family. Of course, when I got older, I'd take him on outings that I thought he would enjoy, like a soccer match. This year I'm getting tickets to a play; Dad belonged to the drama club in school, and fancies himself to be a bit of an amateur thespian."  
  
"I've never been to an amusement park or zoo," Theodore said wistfully. "Though I've heard some of the half-blood and Muggle-born students talking about them. It sounded like fun, but my father would never have been caught dead in a Muggle place."  
  
"The wizarding world doesn't have such things, because it's difficult to hide such a large place from Muggle eyes," Blaise explained. "Occasionally a traveling menagerie or fair might pass through Hogsmeade; my grandfather took me and my sister to one once."  
  
"My father wasn't really the type who enjoyed family outings," Theodore said, some of the bitterness returning to his voice, and Blaise reached out to lay his hand comfortingly over Theodore's for a moment.  
  
"And I wasn't allowed off the family estate until I was thirteen years old," Dylan said matter-of-factly, but there was a hint of wistfulness in his eyes that echoed Theodore's. "And even then, it was only to Hogwarts, or supervised trips to Diagon Alley to buy my school supplies, at least until the war ended."  
  
"It wasn't fair that you were exiled for your father's crimes," Hermione said quietly.  
  
"Well, life isn't fair," Dylan said philosophically, then smiled. "But everything's all right now. I'm no longer a prisoner, and Theo and I are happy living with the Professor and Remus." He turned to his foster brother. "So should we take them to the zoo for Father's Day?"  
  
"You don't think they'll find it too...well, childish?" Theodore asked hopefully.  
  
"Remus will like it," Dylan said confidently. "He's the sentimental sort, so that should appeal to him. If he's already been to the zoo as a child, he'll get all nostalgic about it, and if he hasn't, he'll be eager to try out a new experience. The Professor will probably roll his eyes and grumble a bit, but if it makes Remus happy, he'll go along with it. And he'll secretly be pleased that we're doing something special for them, although he'll never admit it."  
  
"You know them too well!" Hermione laughed. The others laughed along with her, and then Theodore and Dylan resumed planning their Father's Day outing with increasing enthusiasm, as Hermione and Blaise offered suggestions.

***

"Do you and Remus have any plans for next Sunday, Father?" Theodore asked casually during dinner, with such an innocent expression on his face that it immediately aroused Snape's suspicions. In his experience, that look on a Slytherin face was usually a foreshadowing of trouble to come.  
  
He exchanged a glance with Lupin, who shrugged. "Not really," Snape replied cautiously. "Why do you ask?"  
  
Theodore and Dylan grinned at each other; yes, they were definitely up to something. "It's a surprise," Dylan said with his most charming smile, which only made Snape even more suspicious. "Would you mind keeping that day free?"  
  
"Of course," Lupin agreed immediately, his eyes sparkling with anticipation. He clearly had no more idea what the boys were up to than Snape did, but being a Gryffindor, he was always up for a little mischief. Honestly, the werewolf still acted like a child at times! Snape was trying his best to be irritated, but he had to fight back a smile as he remembered how Lupin had initiated a snowball fight at Snape Manor during their first Christmas together with the boys.  
  
Snape looked over at his mother, who was still eating her dinner calmly, showing no sign of surprise or concern, and he relaxed further. If Lady Selima knew about the boys' little scheme, it couldn't be anything that bad. She had little tolerance for pranks or horseplay, or for anything that might put the Snape family in an embarrassing light. Besides, Dylan and Theodore were sensible young men. Whatever mischief they had in mind was probably harmless.  
  
"Very well," Snape said, and the boys beamed, looking smugly pleased with themselves.  
  
"So what do you think they're up to?" Snape asked Lupin after dinner, when they were alone in their room. "It's nowhere near your birthday or mine."  
  
"I have no idea," Lupin laughed. "But I'm looking forward to finding out! Hmm...you don't suppose that Dylan wants to announce that he and Hermione are getting married, do you?"  
  
"Merlin forbid, they're much too young for that!" Snape exclaimed.  
  
"Well, James and Lily weren't much older when they got married," Lupin pointed out. "And Evan and Ariane moved in together straight out of school."  
  
Snape scowled disapprovingly. "I thought they had agreed to put off marriage plans until  they both completed their apprenticeships. An engagement, I can tolerate, so long as they put off the actual ceremony for a few years. They need to concentrate on their careers right now."  
  
"Well, it was just a guess," Lupin said cheerfully, patting Snape on the shoulder. "We'll find out soon enough what their surprise is."  
  
But now that Lupin had put the idea into his head, Snape knew that he wouldn't be able to keep from brooding about it all week. Stupid werewolf.

***

Dylan and Theodore had enlisted Selima's approval, in order to ensure that everything went smoothly. She had mellowed considerably over the past couple of years, but she still held to most of her pureblood prejudices, so they hadn't specifically mentioned that they were celebrating a Muggle holiday. All they told her was that they wanted to show their appreciation to their adoptive fathers, and Selima thought that was a fine idea, saying that it was always proper for a son to show filial respect.

"We should do something for Grandmother, too," Theodore told his foster brother. "Not quite as elaborate, perhaps, but we could take her out to lunch one day, and maybe to an exhibit at a museum or art gallery." The Snape matriarch had a fondness for fine art.

"Yes, you're right," Dylan agreed. "I wonder if Muggles have a Grandparent's Day? I suppose I should do something for Uncle Math and Aunt Goewin, too. Well, first things first; we still have to finish arranging our Father's Day plans."

They grinned at each other conspiratorially. The two of them had planned a series of events for that day, culminating in a special surprise for their fathers. Hermione had very gently suggested that perhaps they might want to scale down the celebration to something simpler, but Dylan had protested, "But we have so many missed years to make up for!"

"How can I argue with that?" Hermione had replied, giving in with an affectionate but slightly sad smile that seemed to say that she didn't have the heart to argue further.

"Do you think Granger was right?" Theodore asked now, sounding a little worried. "That we made things too complicated?"

"Nonsense!" Dylan said confidently. "I have everything planned down to the last detail. What could possibly go wrong?"


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione had said that making breakfast for one's parents was a Father's (and Mother's) Day tradition, but the Snape house-elf, Vorcher, would have been hurt and offended if someone else had tried to take over his duties. So as part of their surprise, Dylan and Theodore had insisted that they stay over at Lupin's little cottage in the woods the night before. Lupin went along with it cheerfully, although Snape seemed rather suspicious.

The boys got up early the next morning to prepare a breakfast of eggs, toast, bacon, and sausages; both their fathers enjoyed a simple, hearty meal in the morning. There was fresh-churned butter purchased in the neighboring village for the toast, along with some cherry preserves from the Madley farm that had the perfect combination of sweetness and tartness; Snape was particularly fond of them. Laura Madley regularly sent the Professors small gifts of fruit, preserves and jams, or magical herbs from the farm in gratitude for their help in saving her brother Ash when he had been kidnapped by the Macnairs. They also brewed some tea for Lupin and some coffee for Snape, who was not much of a morning person. He didn't really have trouble getting up early when necessary, but he didn't particularly enjoy it, either, and caffeine helped to improve his mood slightly.

The Professors emerged from the bedroom when the aroma of coffee and frying bacon began to fill the cottage. They blinked sleepily and, in Lupin's case, sniffed the air appreciatively.

"Ah, how lovely; you've already fixed breakfast!" Lupin said, then grinned and winked at them. "By any chance, did someone move my birthday to June without informing me?"

"No, Remus," Theodore replied, grinning back at him. "But it is a special day."

Snape raised an eyebrow and asked, "Would the two of you care to enlighten us as to what in particular is special about today?"

"It's a surprise, sir," Dylan said, his eyes sparkling with glee and anticipation. "You'll just have to wait and see."

"Hmph!" Snape snorted, but good-naturedly, and they all sat down to breakfast. Theodore handed him a mug of coffee, and Snape sipped it, looking pleasantly surprised to find that it already contained the precise amounts of cream and sugar that he preferred. He relaxed further as he buttered a piece of toast and spread it with a liberal amount of cherry preserves. The boys grinned at each other, pleased that their plan was going so well.

***

After breakfast was over and the dishes washed and dried, Lupin asked, "So now will you tell us where we're going?"

"No, it's a surprise, so Theo and l will Apparate the two of you there," Dylan replied.

"Just how far are we Apparating?" Snape asked, scowling suspiciously. "And have you practiced side-along Apparition before? I wouldn't care to be splinched."

"Dylan has had his Apparition license since last summer, and I've had mine for nearly two years," Theodore replied calmly. "We've practiced side-along Apparition with each other and our friends, and the location we're Apparating to is well within our capabilities."

"Don't you trust us, sir?" Dylan asked, a wounded look on his face; he imitated the "hurt puppy dog" look that Lupin always used quite well. Snape turned his scowl on his lover, who just chuckled. The werewolf was really a bad influence on the children sometimes.

"Of course we trust you two," Lupin said without hesitation. "Don't we, Severus?"

He did trust his sons, with his life, although he had an aversion to letting anyone else Apparate him, and he hated even more having to Apparate without knowing where he was going, since it reminded him of his Death Eater days when he would have to blindly Apparate when his Master called. The magic that linked the Dark Lord to his servants through their Dark Marks would always summon the Death Eaters to him, even when they did not know his exact location.

But the Dark Lord was dead, and his sons only wanted to please him and Remus. And since they had been trained by him, they were competent wizards--he'd certainly never allow Potter or Weasley to Apparate him anywhere! So he glared at Lupin one last time, then sighed, "I suppose so."

"And here, you'll need to wear these," Dylan said, handing both Lupin and Snape a small charm strung on a length of cord.

"What is it?" Lupin asked, slipping it over his head as the boys donned two more similar charms. "Or is that part of the surprise, too?"

Snape examined his charm more carefully; it was a wooden disc engraved with tiny runes, and it radiated an active sense of magical power. "It's enchanted with a preprogrammed spell. Some sort of illusion or glamor, I think?"

"Yes, Theodore carved the charms and Master Satoshi helped us to enchant them," Dylan replied.

"Nice work," Lupin told Theodore, who smiled proudly.

"And why do we need to be wearing an illusion?" Snape demanded.

"Well..." Dylan temporized, and the two boys gave him a sheepish, slightly guilty look.

"Out with it!" Snape snapped.

"Oh, don't ruin their surprise, Severus," Lupin chided.

"It's just that we'll be going into a Muggle area, and we would stand out too much wearing wizard robes," Theodore explained apologetically.

"And we knew that you would hate wearing Muggle clothes, so we spelled these charms to make us look as if we're wearing Muggle clothes," Dylan said brightly. "So you can walk around comfortably in your robes without anyone being the wiser."

"How clever of you!" Lupin praised him.

Dylan smiled modestly. "Well, I rather thought so, too."

"And why are we going to a Muggle area?" Snape asked, in the low, threatening tone he used on his students when his patience was running thin.

The boys went a little pale, then turned to Lupin with a pleading expression on their faces. "It's a surprise, but I promise that you'll like it!" Dylan argued desperately.

"At least, we think that you'll like," Theodore mumbled, sounding rather uncertain.

"Of course we'll like it," Lupin declared firmly, then gave Snape a look that said he had better like it if he knew what was good for him.

"Not an alpha wolf, my arse," Snape muttered under his breath, then gave in to the inevitable. Besides, it was hard to resist both of his sons giving him that bloody puppy dog look. He slipped the charm over his head with a sigh of resignation, then held out his arm. Theodore cautiously took it, as Dylan grasped Lupin's arm, and Snape's stomach lurched slightly as the floor beneath his feet seemed to vanish and a loud cracking noise filled the air...

They landed smoothly enough, without even a stumble (and no splinching, thank Merlin) in what appeared to be a Muggle parking lot filled with automobiles. They had landed in a distant corner, hidden behind a large van, so fortunately, no one seemed to take any notice of their sudden arrival.

"It's this way," Dylan said, leading them through the parking lot and to their intended destination, which turned out to be a zoo. Snape had heard of such things before, but had never seen one, since the Snapes did not deign to lower themselves with crude forms of Muggle entertainment...or at least, that was how Lady Selima would have phrased it. He began to suspect that his mother didn't know about the boys' plans, after all--or at least, not the full extent of them.

"The zoo--what a wonderful surprise!" Lupin exclaimed. "My parents brought me here once when I was a little boy, but that was years ago." He looked as excited and eager as any of the young children passing through the entrance gates, parents in tow. There seemed to be an ungodly number of them, laughing and chattering and whining; it was mostly the latter that set Snape's nerves on edge and caused him to grit his teeth.

"I wanna ice cream!" one particularly annoying little brat was whining in a shrill voice.

"I said later, Tommy," his harried-looking mother retorted. "And if you keep this up, not only will you not get any ice cream, we'll turn around and go straight home!"

"Perhaps we could feed him to the lions," Snape whispered to Lupin.

The boys snickered, and Lupin fixed them all with a stern look. "Remember the prohibitions against using magic in front of Muggles," he warned.

"All it would take is just one quick flick of my wand," Snape cajoled. "No one would notice."

"There will be no feeding of small children to the animals," Lupin said firmly.

"Pity," Theodore sighed.

"He would probably have given the lions indigestion, anyway," Dylan said with a shrug.

Lupin pretended to glare at them, but then ruined the effect by laughing when the boys just grinned at him. "All right, so what should we see first, then?"

Dylan had procured a guidebook and map of the zoo ahead of time--the boys appeared to have planned this outing in great detail, down to having changed some Galleons into Muggle money at Gringotts to pay for the admission fees. They looked over the map, but there were so many exhibits that they couldn't make up their minds what to see first. So they just continued walking down the path that they were on, wandering through the zoo at a leisurely place.

Lupin and the boys paused to laugh at the antics of the monkeys, but the animals reminded Snape too much of a bunch of unruly first-years for real enjoyment...although he had often wished he could lock some of his more troublesome students up in a cage. That thought did make him smile, and his smile grew a little wider when he took a closer look at his lover's and sons' faces. Lupin, as usual, was taking a childish Gryffindor delight in their excursion, and while the boys tried to maintain an air of proper Slytherin dignity, their eyes sparkled with as much pleasure as Lupin's.

Neither of them had had much of a childhood: Theodore had been raised by an abusive father, and Dylan had been sentenced along with his mother to an unofficial exile on a distant family estate in Wales, for crimes his father had committed before he was born. There would have been no trips to the zoo or any similar outings for either boy.

Theodore seemed to notice Snape's lack of enthusiasm, and asked anxiously, "Are you not enjoying yourself, Father? I suppose this must all seem rather silly and childish to you..."

"Actually, I am finding the experience surprisingly amusing," Snape reassured him. Theodore knew now that his adoptive family loved him and would never abandon him, but brief moments of insecurity would surface every now and then as an unbidden reflex. "I was just thinking that these animals remind me a great deal of my first-year Gryffindor class--except that the monkeys are a little more well-mannered."

Theodore laughed and relaxed, and Lupin chuckled good-naturedly; he never seemed to mind Snape's frequent slights against his House. "Speaking of Gryffindors, shall we go check out the lions now?" he suggested.

Fortunately--or perhaps unfortunately, depending on one's point of view--the whiny child from earlier was nowhere near the lion exhibit.

"They're very regal, aren't they?" Lupin said, admiring the lions as they lay sprawled out, basking in the sun like oversized house cats.

"King of the jungle--hah!" Snape snorted. "They're lazy creatures, or at least the males are." As if to prove his point, one of the male lions yawned, stretching his jaws open wide to expose his large fangs. "The females do all the hunting, but the males always eat first--they can chase off the lionesses and cubs with their superior size and strength. The females eat when he's done, and the cubs get whatever is left after that--if there is anything left, that is. When the hunting is bad, they go hungry."

"Well, it's a bit too late to change the Gryffindor House crest at this point in history, even if the symbol of our House isn't quite as noble as it looks," Lupin said philosophically, then grinned. "Since the three of you are Slytherins, should we go look at the snakes now?"

Dylan consulted the map, then said, "The reptile house is this way..."

The snakes and other reptiles were kept in a cool, dark building--because they were cold-blooded animals and their body temperature fluctuated with any changes in their environment, Snape informed them didactically. Too much heat or too much cold could kill them.

The reptiles were all housed behind glass windows that were lit, presumably to allow the visitors to view the animals more easily. Most of the snakes were as lethargic as the lions had been, lying quietly on the floor of their enclosures, or in a few cases, coiled around a tree branch. Snape frowned disapprovingly at a boy standing next to them who was tapping the window to get the snake's attention, despite the "Please do not touch the glass" signs clearly posted.

It seemed that his glare worked as well as on Muggle children as it did on young wizards and witches, because the boy turned pale and hastily backed away from the window. The boy's father looked offended and opened his mouth, but immediately shut it when Snape intensified his glare a few degrees and turned it on the father. The man grabbed his son by the hand, saying, "Let's go look at the monkeys instead of these nasty, slimy creatures," and the two of them hurried out of the reptile house.

"Snakes aren't slimy!" Theodore said indignantly, then muttered under his breath, "Ignorant Muggles."

"To be fair, most wizards don't like them, either, unless they're Slytherins," Dylan reminded him.

"It is a shame, but most people are too ignorant to appreciate the subtle elegance and grace of the serpent," Snape said disdainfully.

Lupin sidled up next to him and purred, "Well, I assure you that I very much appreciate the subtle elegance and grace of the serpent," although his gaze was focused on Snape rather than the python behind the window.

"Kindly restrain yourself in public," Snape scolded his lover, although secretly he was rather pleased.

Before Lupin could do anything to scandalize the Muggle families in the reptile house, Theodore exclaimed, "Father, look!"

The python behind the window had shifted its coils and raised its head, staring intently at them as it hissed, its forked tongue flicking in and out of its mouth.

"It's a pity Harry's not here," Lupin murmured. "He could tell us what it's saying."

"Maybe it wants to thank you for chasing away the brat that was tapping on the glass," Dylan said with a grin.

"Perhaps," Snape agreed. "Or maybe it's just thinking of what a lovely meal that boy would have made." Still, he bowed his head in acknowledgment to the snake, who hissed again and dipped its own head slightly before sinking back to the floor of its cage.

"Mummy," a little girl whispered in awe, tugging on her mother's skirts as she pointed at Snape. "The snake was talking to that man!"

"Nonsense," the mother replied, though a bit uncertainly. "Snakes don't talk to people. I'm sure that it was only a coincidence that it happened to look up just now."

"Perhaps we should move on to another exhibit," Dylan suggested hastily. "How about the wolves?"

However, on their way to the wolf exhibit, Lupin's eyes lit up when they happened to pass by a father and his young son and daughter, all three of them enjoying double-scoop ice cream cones. The children had melted ice cream running down their chins and dripping onto their clothes, but the father didn't seem overly concerned.

"Shall we stop to get a snack first?" Theodore asked with a grin.

So a few minutes later, they were all eating ice cream cones as they continued on their way to see the wolves. Snape frowned at his cone slightly; he enjoyed eating sweets, ice cream included, but licking at a cone of ice cream was just so...well...undignified, especially in public. And it was so messy, since it tended to melt and run down your hand if you didn't eat it fast enough. However, the boys had already ordered the cones before he had a chance to voice his preference for a bowl and spoon instead, and he hadn't wanted to hurt their feelings.

Ah well, it wasn't a huge sacrifice to make. The ice cream was rich and sweet, though not quite up to the quality of Fortescue's. But for Muggle food, it wasn't bad, he supposed.

Lupin obviously had no problem with eating ice cream cones in public...in fact, he was enjoying it a little too much. He grinned at Snape slyly through half-closed eyes and swirled his tongue around the top of his cone in a deliberately lascivious manner that caused the boys to blush and snicker nervously. Snape felt heat spreading through his own face--and through his groin, although Lupin ought to look more ridiculous than sensual, since his tongue was stained green from the mint-chocolate chip ice cream that he was licking so provocatively. Snape was very glad that he was wearing wizard robes, then remembered that the charm he was wearing made him appear to be wearing Muggle clothing. He only hoped that the illusion concealed any embarrassing physical reactions.

"Remus John Lupin!" Snape hissed, giving the werewolf a glare normally reserved for first-year students who melted their cauldrons. "Behave yourself!"

"Or what?" Lupin retorted with a lazy, insolent smile. "Will you punish me?"

"I think you might enjoy that too much," Snape replied sourly, firmly keeping the corners of his mouth turned down, although they kept wanting to quirk up in amusement. "No, if you cannot behave yourself, I will simply take you home and that will be the end of our little outing at the zoo." He glanced at Theodore and Dylan, who were beginning to look anxious, and added, "And you will have ruined the boys' special plans for us today."

Lupin immediately looked contrite and said meekly, "Sorry, I'll try to behave myself for the rest of the day."

"See that you do," Snape said sternly, but inwardly he was smirking. Lupin had manipulated him with guilt often enough; for all his Gryffindor brashness, he had a streak of sly subtlety that was worthy of a Slytherin. No one did passive-aggressive as well as Remus Lupin, and Snape found that it was very satisfying to turn the tables on the werewolf for a change.

They managed to reach the wolf exhibit without further incident, and soon Lupin and the boys were laughing as they watched two wolf cubs playfully frolic and wrestle with each other as the adult wolves watched indulgently. Then one of the cubs turned in Lupin's direction and looked at him curiously. It ran up to the edge of the enclosure and barked excitedly at him.

"I think he knows you're a wolf, Remus," Theodore murmured.

Unfortunately, the cub wasn't the only one who sensed Lupin's true nature. A large gray male, clearly the alpha of the pack, slowly stalked forward, growling and baring its teeth at Lupin.

"He seems to think of me as a strange wolf intruding on his territory," Lupin whispered to the boys.

Snape was about to suggest that they move on before they attracted too much attention, but Lupin had something else in mind. Normally a wolf would acknowledge a stronger wolf's superiority by rolling over and exposing its throat, but that was impractical in their current situation. So Lupin knelt down on the ground, bringing himself down more or less to the wolf's level, then bowed his head and cast his eyes downward submissively.

The wolf growled softly, staring at Lupin uncertainly for a moment before it relaxed, apparently deciding that Lupin wasn't a threat. It turned away, herding the cub back towards the rest of the pack with a nudge of its nose. The cub went along obediently, casting one last curious glance back at Lupin.

"Um...Remus, people are staring at us," Theodore said nervously.

A crowd of Muggles were staring at them wide-eyed, and Lupin calmly rose to his feet, saying with a smile, "I have a way with animals."

"Yes, he has a great deal of experience with canines," Snape snarled, grabbing Lupin by the arm and hustling him off before anyone could shake off their shock long enough to question them. "Honestly, Lupin, are you _trying_ to get us in trouble with the Ministry? Dawlish is still holding a grudge over being proven wrong yet again, and he would jump at the opportunity to get us in trouble."

"That isn't the Aurors' department, and besides, I haven't used any magic," Lupin said mildly.

"Yes, but you're drawing suspicion onto yourself," Snape argued. "Wolves don't normally communicate with Muggles!"

"Neither do snakes," Lupin pointed out with a grin. "So we're both equally guilty."

Snape spluttered, trying to come up with a good retort, and Dylan hastily suggested, "Ah, shall we go to the aviary next?"

But Lupin was already distracted. "Oh look, someone is selling balloon animals! Shall we get one? I wonder if he can make a wolf?"

A nearby vendor was blowing up long, thin balloons and twisting them into the shapes of animals. He was currently making a long-necked giraffe with a yellow balloon, and his customer was none other than the whiny child that Snape had threatened to feed to the lions earlier. The boy seemed to be in a better mood now, having obtained the ice cream that he had been begging his mother for. He held a melting cone in one sticky hand and reached for the balloon with the other.

While the boy's parents were paying the vendor, the boy ran ahead, shouting, "I want to see the real giraffes now!"

"Wait for us, son!" the father called after him, while the mother shouted irritably, "Tommy, don't run; you..." The boy ran straight into Snape, and the mother finished with a sigh, "...might bump into someone."

"My ice cream!" the boy...Tommy...wailed, staring in dismay at his empty cone; the ice cream itself was now smeared all over the front of Snape's robes. Snape just stared down at the boy coldly.

"I told you not to run," the mother scolded wearily. "Now apologize to the gentleman."

"Sorry," Tommy said sullenly, still more concerned with the loss of his ice cream than with Snape.

"That wasn't much of an apology," Snape told the boy disapprovingly.

"Now, now," the father said placatingly, reaching into his pocket for his wallet. "I'll pay for the cleaning bill for your clothes."

"That's not really necessary--" Lupin started to say, but Snape interrupted in a sharp, cold voice.

"I don't want your money. I want a proper apology."

"Come now, Tommy said he was sorry," the father said, frowning.

"He didn't _sound_ very sorry."

While the mother was annoyed with her son, she was obviously beginning to get annoyed with Snape as well. "He's just a little boy!" she said in an exasperated voice. "You don't have to be so harsh on him; he doesn't know any better."

"That is true," Snape said smoothly. "Children cannot be expected to know how to behave if their parents do not teach them any manners."

Dylan winced, and Theodore was beginning to look a little frantic, as if he were afraid that Snape was going to whip out his wand and start hexing the family any second now. It was a tempting thought, but not worth the trouble he would get into if the Ministry got wind of it.

"How dare you!" the mother cried, and the father said, "Now that's going a little too far!" And the boy stuck out his tongue at Snape.

On the other hand, maybe it would be worth it, after all...

Now it was Lupin's turn to grab him by the arm and drag him away, saying, "Come along now, Severus, let's get you cleaned up. And we wouldn't want to ruin the boys' outing, now would we?"

Snape reluctantly let himself be pulled away, while the other family headed off in the opposite direction. Tommy turned back to stick out his tongue at Snape again. Snape glared at the boy and slipped his wand out of his pocket for just a second; a quick flick, and the giraffe balloon popped, exploding into dozens of little pieces of yellow rubber.

"Mummy!" Tommy wailed. "The bad man broke my balloon!"

Snape had already pocketed the wand before the parents had time to turn around. He contrived to appear as innocent as a Slytherin could possibly look, which was not very. The parents stared at him suspiciously for a moment, then the father said briskly, "Nonsense! He was nowhere near you or the balloon! Come along now, I've had enough of your whining."

"But Daddy..." the boy wailed, his voice fading off into the distance as the family walked away.

"What happened to not using magic in front of Muggles?" Lupin scolded.

"No one saw anything," Snape said defensively. "And if no one saw it, then it never happened." That was the motto of the late Professor De Lacy, who had been Head of Slytherin during Snape's student years at Hogwarts.

"Just because no one saw it, doesn't mean it didn't happen," Lupin argued. "Yes, the boy was behaving like a brat, but there was no need for you to sink to his level. Honestly, Severus, can't you act a little more mature than a five-year-old child?"

Dylan and Theodore exchanged anxious looks, and before Snape could argue further, Dylan said soothingly, "There's a restroom up ahead, Professor. You can clean up over there."

Fortunately, the restroom was empty, so Snape was able to use a quick spell to clean his robes. "Did you still want to see the aviary?" Lupin asked the boys, sounding a little subdued, and Snape began to feel a little guilty about spoiling the boys' outing. But he wondered what on earth had made them decide to go to the zoo today. He appreciated that they seemed to be trying to do something special for himself and Lupin, but he had never given them any reason to think that he would be interested in Muggle pastimes. Despite his past association with the Death Eaters, he didn't hate Muggles, but he didn't have any special fondness for them, either.

"Actually, I think we should be moving on," Dylan said with a falsely bright smile. "We have other things planned, and if we spend too much time here, we'll fall behind schedule."

"Oh?" Lupin said, looking intrigued, his good cheer beginning to return. "What else do you have planned?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise," Dylan laughed, then reached into his pockets and handed Lupin a handful of paper bills--Muggle money. "There's a gift shop at the end of this path. Why don't you and the Professor buy some souvenirs while I, ah, go over our schedule with Theo?" He smiled sweetly. "And Professor, please try not to hex anyone in the meantime."

"I'll do my best to restrain myself," Snape said dryly, and headed down the path with Lupin.

***

"Now what?" Theodore demanded plaintively. "We were supposed to go boating and have a picnic at the park next, but it will probably be crowded with families, and I don't think it's safe to have Father near any more Muggle children."

"You're probably right," Dylan sighed. "I guess we'll have to change our plans."

Theodore gave him an accusing look. "You said nothing would go wrong. You said you planned everything perfectly."

"Well, I did!" Dylan said defensively. "My calculations didn't include some snot-nosed brat running into the Professor with an ice cream cone!" Then he sighed again and admitted, "I guess it wasn't really a good idea to take the Professor to a place with so many children running around. But he's never hexed any of his students before, not even Potter or Longbottom, so I thought the Muggle children would be safe from him."

"He can sentence his students to detention," Theodore pointed out. "He can't make some stranger's child at the zoo gut horny toads or pickle rat brains."

"True," Dylan sighed, then the expression on his face suddenly brightened. "Ah, I have an idea! We can still go boating and have a picnic--we'll just do it at the lake by the school instead! Let me Apparate ahead and ask Hagrid if we can borrow a boat."

"Do you think he'll say 'yes'?" Theodore asked doubtfully. "He doesn't like us Slytherins."

"Everyone likes _me_ ," Dylan said, with his most charming smile, and Theodore rolled his eyes. "And actually, he's been getting along well with Crabbe and Goyle ever since they got interested in the Thestrals. Besides, Hagrid likes Remus, so he'll help me for his sake, if nothing else." He smiled confidently. "Don't worry, Theo; everything will work out. Go on to the gift shop and make sure the Professor doesn't hex anyone, and I'll meet you there in a few minutes."

"I just hope you know what you're doing," Theodore muttered under his breath as his brother Disapparated.

Fortunately, Snape didn't hex anyone, and Lupin seemed to be enjoying himself in the gift shop. Everyone was in a much better mood when Dylan returned.

"Look, I bought some stuffed animals," Lupin said, showing off his purchases. "The lion is for Cedric Drake, and I got this tiger for Regulus."

"Then who are these two for?" Dylan asked, examining a plush, cuddly wolf cub and snake, the latter smiling cheerily with a forked tongue made of red felt hanging out of its mouth.

"Oh, those are for me and Severus, of course," Lupin said with a grin.

Snape sniffed disdainfully. "I told you that I don't need that thing, Lupin. It is an abominable parody of a true serpent, and a disgrace to Slytherin House."

"You'll hurt his feelings, Severus," Lupin chided.

"A plush toy does not have _feelings_ , Lupin," Snape retorted.

"Ah, we should be going now," Dylan interrupted.

"And where are we going?" Lupin asked with a smile.

"Theodore and I will Apparate you," Dylan replied. "But don't worry, you'll recognize it when we get there."


	3. Chapter 3

Well, at least they were in familiar territory this time, Snape told himself when they appeared on the shore of the lake. And as an added bonus, there were no mewling brats in sight.  
  
"What are we doing here?" he asked cautiously.  
  
"We thought it might be nice to go boating and have a picnic lunch," Dylan said with a smile, motioning towards the rowboat that was resting on the shore.  
  
"What a lovely idea," Lupin said. "It's such a nice day for a picnic, too." It was a sunny day, with just a few puffy white clouds floating in the clear blue sky--it looked almost too good to be true, like a painting instead of a real sky.  
  
Lupin would probably tell him that he was being too cynical, but it was difficult to retain a sense of idealism after spending two decades as a Death Eater. Then again, Snape had always been cynical, even as a child, while Lupin had never lost his idealism in spite of all the hardships he had experienced. Snape supposed that they balanced each other out somehow, and he smiled slightly.  
  
"Yes, it is a nice day," he agreed, and the boys looked grateful and relieved. Snape and Lupin stepped into the boat and seated themselves, then the boys gave it a push to launch it into the water and hopped into the boat. Theodore landed a bit awkwardly, causing the boat to rock, while Dylan jumped in and seated himself in one smooth, fluid movement, as if he had practiced it a hundred times before.  
  
"Show-off," Theodore grumbled good-naturedly.  
  
Dylan just grinned and cast a charm on the oars, which began rowing at a slow, leisurely pace, and Lupin reached out and let his fingers trail through the water.  
  
"Watch out for the giant squid," Snape cautioned his lover. "It might decide that a werewolf is a tasty treat."  
  
"We'll stay away from the deep part of the lake," Dylan assured him. "We should be safe enough in the shallows."  
  
"James, Sirius, Peter, and I went wading and swimming in the lake often enough when we were kids," Lupin said, looking unconcerned.  
  
"That is more proof of your recklessness and good fortune than an indication that swimming in the lake is safe," Snape retorted, but he wasn't really worried about Lupin becoming squid-bait. Lupin probably sensed this, because he just laughed and let his hand remain in the water.  
  
They drifted through the water for awhile, quietly enjoying each other's company and the warmth of the summer day, until the silence was broken by a rumbling sound from Lupin's stomach.  
  
After a startled moment, they all laughed, Lupin included. "It's been awhile since that ice cream cone, and I guess I'm feeling a bit peckish," he said sheepishly. "Did you mention something about a picnic lunch earlier?"  
  
"Yes, I have it right here," Dylan said, grinning, pulling a tiny, doll-sized picnic basket out of his pocket; a wave of his wand transformed it back to normal size. "Do you want to go back to shore to eat?"  
  
"Oh, it's so nice out here, let's just eat in the boat," Lupin replied, so Dylan passed out sandwiches and bottles of butterbeer to everyone.  
  
They had just started eating when Lupin noticed some fish swimming alongside their boat, and tore off the crusts from his bread and tossed them into the water.  
  
"Oh, for Merlin's sake, Lupin," Snape said with a much-put-upon sigh. "Must you attract stray animals everywhere we go?"  
  
"I'm just feeding the fish a few breadcrumbs, Severus," Lupin said patiently, throwing another crust into the water. "I wasn't planning to bring any of them home." Then he smiled, his eyes twinkling with a glint of mischief. "Although I think a fish tank would make a nice centerpiece for our quarters..."  
  
"Absolutely not!" Snape protested.  
  
"Calm down, Sev, I was only joking," Lupin said placatingly. "Well, mostly..."  
  
Snape opened his mouth to tell Lupin that a rat and a dog were enough and they were absolutely not getting another pet when suddenly a tentacle emerged from the water and snatched up one of the fish that had been feeding on Lupin's bread crumbs.  
  
"Please tell me that's not what I think it is," Theodore groaned.  
  
 "Head back to shore, quickly!" Snape ordered, and Dylan charmed the oars to row faster and set a course back to shore, but it was too late. Something--presumably a large tentacle--struck the bottom of the boat and flipped it over, tumbling all of them into the water.  
  
The boys splashed and spluttered and floundered in the water--neither of them had much practice in swimming, although they had probably taken a few dips in the lake during warm weather, as most of the Hogwarts students did. Still, they managed to stay afloat, which meant that Snape didn't have to worry about them drowning--only about them being eaten by the giant squid, which was not really much of a comfort.  
  
Actually, Snape was not much of a swimmer himself, but he had the presence of mind to cast a small levitation charm to keep himself afloat. Meanwhile, Lupin was casting a shield spell around the four of them, although Snape wasn't sure how long he could maintain it while treading water. A stunning spell probably wouldn't affect a creature this large, and attacking it would only make it angry and even more dangerous. He briefly wondered whether a Killing Curse would work on the squid, and whether he could successfully argue self-defense if the Aurors brought him up on charges.  
  
Then an idea occurred to him, and he cast an illusion of a large school of fish--all swimming rapidly towards the other end of the lake. Praise Merlin, it worked, and the squid took off after the illusory fish, changing direction so rapidly that it kicked up a wave that swamped them and set them all to spluttering and splashing again.  
  
Lupin managed to flip the boat back over with a spell, and they clambered back into it, and a pale, shaken Dylan managed to retrieve the oars with an Accio spell.  
  
"I lost my stuffed animals," Lupin said mournfully.  
  
"Forget the bloody stuffed animals!" Snape snapped, but Theodore pulled the soggy toys out of the water with another Accio. " _Now_ can we get out of here?" Snape demanded, and Dylan sped the boat back to the shore.  
  
"The giant squid only stays out in the deep part of the lake, huh?" Theodore muttered sarcastically as they climbed out of the boat, all of them soaking wet and dripping water.  
  
"Oh, shut up," Dylan muttered back wearily.  
  
"Now, now, you two," Lupin gently chided. "There's no harm done, see?" He quickly dried their robes, and even the stuffed animals, with a few spells. "Even the toys are as good as new!"  
  
It was true; they were as cuddly and fluffy as they had been before their accidental soaking, although Snape privately wished that the stuffed snake had remained on the bottom of the lake. Still, he didn't think that it was a good idea to voice his opinion right now, with the two boys looking so glum.  
  
"I'm sorry, Professor, Remus," Dylan apologized. "I've never heard of the squid coming so close to shore before."  
  
"It's all Lupin's fault," Snape said in an attempt to cheer them up. "The squid was probably attracted by all the fish that were hanging around the boat hoping for a free handout."  
  
"Yes, I take full responsibility," Lupin laughed. "And no doubt Severus is pleased to have been proven right when he told me to keep my hand out of the water and not to feed the fish."  
  
"Exactly," Snape said smugly, and Lupin laughed again.  
  
"Now you're going to be annoyingly insufferable for the next few days," Lupin jokingly complained, but he kissed Snape fondly on the cheek.  
  
The boys began to cheer up, heartened by their parents' familiar affectionate bickering. "Our lunch got ruined, but we could buy some food in Hogsmeade," Theodore suggested. "Maybe at The Three Broomsticks?"  
  
"That's a wonderful idea," Lupin agreed. "But let's have Rosmerta pack it to go, so that we can still have our picnic."  
  
With everyone feeling much better, they went to The Three Broomsticks to buy their lunch, and returned back to the lake. They found a shady spot under a tree, and Lupin conjured up a blanket to sit on, and they spread out their food and began eating.  
  
Snape had only taken a few bites of his sandwich when Theodore looked up and frowned. "Does the sky suddenly seem gray to you?" he asked.  
  
Snape looked up and saw that the picturesque fluffy white clouds had increased and changed to a more threatening shade of gray. "Maybe we should pack up and head back to the inn," Lupin suggested as a low rumble of thunder ominously echoed through the air.  
  
As if on cue, the clouds immediately let loose the rain they had been holding back, and the food was soaked before they had a chance pack it away. "I thought you had everything planned to the last detail!" Theodore shouted at Dylan as they all sprinted back towards Hogsmeade.  
  
"I did!" Dylan protested. "The weather report said it was supposed to be sunny today!"  
  
"Well, never mind," Lupin laughed as they ran through the rain; the Hogsmeade villagers were also running for shelter, having been caught off-guard by the sudden rainstorm. "A little water never hurt anyone; we won't melt. And look on the bright side--at least there's no giant squid this time!" Dylan just groaned in response.  
  
"Back again?" Rosmerta asked, when they turned up on the doorstep of the Three Broomsticks, looking wet and bedraggled. "I'm sorry that your picnic was ruined. It's so odd, how that storm turned up out of nowhere on such a nice day."  
  
"That was the second lunch that got ruined today," Theodore muttered sullenly.  
  
"Well, come on in and get dried off, dears," Rosmerta said kindly. "And I'll have another lunch ready for you in no time."  
  
So for the second time that day, Lupin cast drying spells on their clothing (and the stuffed animals). And after enjoying a substantial hot meal, everyone was relaxed and in a much better mood.  
  
"I'm sorry that our picnic didn't work out," Dylan apologized.  
  
"That's all right," Lupin said, patting his hand sympathetically. "Even the best laid plans can go astray. And we've had a lot of fun today. Haven't we, Severus?"  
  
"Yes, of course," Snape replied, since the boys were staring at him hopefully. And upon reflection, he realized that he really had enjoyed himself at the zoo, the whiny brat notwithstanding. Actually, hexing the brat's balloon had been rather satisfying, especially since the brat knew that he had done it, but no one else would ever believe it. "Yes, I've had a very good time today," he added with a wicked grin that caused Lupin to stare at him suspiciously for a moment, then smile in amusement.  
  
"I'm glad," Dylan said, both he and Theodore looking very relieved.  
  
"I think the rain's stopped," Theodore observed, and it was true. The sun had come back out, and the sudden rainstorm had vanished as abruptly as it had appeared.  
  
"I know how I can make it up to you, Professor!" Dylan said, the expression on his face brightening further.  
  
"You really don't have to make anything up to me," Snape replied, with more gentleness than he would normally use, because the boys seemed to be trying very hard to please him and Lupin, although they were going about it in a very unusual manner. He frowned, recalling his earlier suspicions about their motives...surely Dylan wasn't really planning to marry Miss Granger straight out of school. Unless...there was some reason why they _had_ to get married right now? No, that was ridiculous! Neither Dylan nor Granger would ever be so careless...  
  
"Um...Professor?" Dylan said nervously, interrupting Snape's thoughts. "Hagrid told me that he found a patch of moonwort while rounding up a baby Thestral that had strayed away from the herd."  
  
"Moonwort?" Snape asked eagerly, forgetting about his worries. It was a plant with powerful magical properties--in fact, it was one of the ingredients in the Wolfsbane Potion, although it could also be used in other potions and spells. It wasn't exactly rare, but it was very difficult to find, because most of the plants remained buried beneath the soil, with only the occasional tiny leafed stalk rising above the surface where it could be spotted. "Did he show you where it was?"  
  
"Not exactly, but he gave me directions and I think I can find it easily enough," Dylan replied. "We could go look for it now that the rain has let up."  
  
"Yes, let's go," Snape said eagerly. "My supply has been running a little low."  
  
"Are you sure about this?" he overheard Theodore hiss at Dylan as they paid their bill and got ready to leave. "Aren't there, well...things...in the forest? Nasty things. Isn't that why they call it the 'Forbidden Forest'?"  
  
"The Professors are experts in the Dark Arts and defensive magic, and we're no slouches ourselves," Dylan replied. "What could--"  
  
"Don't say it," Theodore said darkly. "You don't want to know how many things I think could possibly go wrong."

***

A little while later, they were making their way through the forest, casting Lumos spells with their wands to light their way as the trees grew increasingly denser and taller, their branches blocking out the sunlight overheard.  
  
"How much farther is it?" Theodore asked nervously. "I've never been this deep into the forest before."  
  
"There should be a lightning-split tree up ahead soon...ah, there it is!" Dylan pointed towards a large tree, its trunk scorched and split nearly in half. He crouched down at the base of the tree and began brushing away the cover of damp, fallen leaves, revealing a few thin, green stalks poking up out of the earth.  
  
"Yes, it is moonwort," Snape confirmed with pleasure. "And there should be more growing beneath the surface. We'll just a take a few plants, so that the rest can replenish themselves, and we can return here when we need more. The tree makes a good marker, so it should be easy enough to find again."  
  
"Can't you just get some from Professor Sprout?" Theodore asked nervously as they harvested the plants.  
  
"Moonwort grown in the wild has more magical potency," Snape lectured. "You should know that, Theodore; I covered it in Advanced Potions."  
  
"Yes, sir," Theodore replied morosely, then suddenly glanced around, looking a little frantic. "Did you hear that?"  
  
"Hear what?" Dylan asked irritably. "Theo, you're jumping at shadows."  
  
"Shh!" hissed Lupin. "I hear it, too." Everyone fell silent, and soon a distinct rustling noise became audible.  
  
"Maybe it's just the wind blowing through the trees?" Dylan suggested, but he began to look nervous as well.  
  
"I don't think so," Lupin said, raising his wand in a defensive stance. "I think we had better head back now."  
  
As the noise grew louder, it sounded less like rustling and more like scuttling--the scuttling sound of many, many pairs of feet. They slowly backed away, wands raised, and many, many pairs of glowing, beady red eyes came into view--all in sets of eight. Eight eyes to go with eight legs, belonging to a horde of giant spiders, ranging in size from a large dog at the smallest, to a cart-horse at the largest.  
  
"Oh, shit," Theodore whispered, standing transfixed in horror at the sight.  
  
"Hagrid never said anything about giant spiders," Dylan said weakly.  
  
"Run!" Snape ordered the boys. "Now!"  
  
That broke them out of their trance, and Theodore and Dylan took off running, with Snape and Lupin close on their heels--and the spiders following close behind. Snape shot off a few stunning spells, but that didn't deter the spiders in the slightest; the horde simply ran right over their fallen comrades.  
  
"'What could possibly go wrong?'" Theodore shouted mockingly at his brother.  
  
"Oh, shut up!" Dylan shouted back. "You can say 'I told you so' after this is over!"  
  
"If we live through this, you mean!"  
  
"Both of you shut up and save your breath for running!" Snape snapped.  
  
"Tarantallegra!" Lupin shouted, setting several of the spiders to dancing a jig.  
  
"Oh, that's very effective, Lupin!" Snape said sarcastically, but actually it did slow the rest of the spiders down a bit when they stopped to stare in bewilderment at their dancing colleagues.  
  
Meanwhile, some of the smaller spiders were racing above them in the trees, and one of them dropped down onto Theodore, knocking him to the ground. Theodore screamed as the spider bit into his shoulder with a pair of massive black pincers.  
  
"Sectumsempra!" Snape cried, slicing the spider in half.  
  
"We can't fight them all off," Lupin said, throwing up a shield spell to slow the spiders down. "But I have an idea." He whispered into Snape's ear, and Snape nodded.  
  
"Be ready to run," he told the boys as Dylan helped Theodore back to his feet, and they nodded, still looking frightened but slightly reassured that he seemed to have a plan in mind.  
  
"On three, then," Lupin said. "One...two...three!" He and Snape pooled their strength to throw up a massive illusion spell of a wall of fire, with complete sensory components, including heat and the smell of smoke. The spiders immediately scuttled back in fear.  
  
An illusion this complex required a great deal of concentration, and Snape knew that they wouldn't be able to hold it for long. "Now!" Snape shouted at the boys, and they started running. He and Lupin held the illusion a bit longer to give them a head start, then turned and ran after them.  
  
Snape didn't look back to see how long the illusion would hold; it would probably fizzle out in a couple of minutes without anyone to maintain it. He and Lupin and the boys ran as fast they could, heedless of the tree branches catching and tearing at their robes.  
  
They finally stumbled out of the forest and into the sunlight, panting and gasping for breath. "Are they gone?" Theodore wheezed.  
  
Lupin paused to listen for a moment, then said, "I don't hear anything. I don't think they've followed us out of the forest."  
  
"Oh, thank Merlin!" Dylan groaned, collapsing to the ground as he clutched at his sides. "I don't think I could run another step!" Theodore collapsed beside him.  
  
"Planned everything down to the last detail, huh?" Theodore said, but he was smiling weakly.  
  
"Sorry," Dylan apologized, and then the two of them burst into hysterical laughter.  
  
Lupin, Dylan, and Theodore were bleeding and bedraggled, with their arms and faces scratched and their robes torn, and in Theodore's case, his shoulder was swollen and bleeding. Snape was sure that he didn't look any better himself.  
  
He knelt down on wobbly legs beside Theodore and said, "Let me take a look at your wound." It didn't seem too serious, but he reached into his pockets for the emergency healing supplies that he always carried, and gave his son a bezoar to neutralize any spider venom, and smeared some healing salve on the wound.  
  
"But just to be on the safe side, we should go to St. Mungo's and have them take a look at it," Snape said.  
  
"Yes, Father," Theodore said glumly. "I'm sorry that I spoiled your special day."  
  
"No, it's my fault," Dylan said guiltily. "I planned the whole day out so carefully, but everything went wrong!"  
  
Snape crossed his arms over his chest and glared at his sons sternly. "All right, you two--I want to know what is going on. It's not my birthday or Lupin's or yours, so I want to know what is so bloody special about today." He gave them a suspicious look. "Are you trying to put me in a good mood because you have some bad news to break? You didn't get anyone pregnant, did you?"  
  
"That would be a little hard for me, considering that Blaise is a guy," Theodore said with a grin.  
  
"When I was a student, I heard rumors about some kind of potion or spell that could enable men to carry a child," Lupin said.  
  
"That's just the sort of poppycock an idiot Gryffindor would fall for!" Snape scoffed. "There's no such thing as a male pregnancy potion!"  
  
"Well then, Theodore can't have gotten anyone pregnant," Lupin pointed out reasonably, and Snape turned his gaze on his other son.  
  
"Dylan?" he demanded.  
  
"Of course I haven't gotten anyone pregnant!" Dylan said indignantly. "Hermione doesn't want to get married or start a family until we're both established in our careers!"  
  
"I knew she was a sensible girl," Snape sighed in relief, then frowned again. "Then why all the special plans for today?"  
  
"It's Father's Day!" the boys chorused.  
  
"Father's Day?" Snape asked, puzzled. "What on earth does that mean?"  
  
"Hermione told us about it," Dylan explained. "It's a Muggle holiday where children express their appreciation for their fathers, and they spend the day together as a family, doing special things together."  
  
"Granger told us about all the things that Muggles do on Father's Day, like going to the zoo, or going boating and having a picnic," Theodore chimed in. "We just wanted to celebrate Father's Day together with you and Remus." Then he sighed and added gloomily, "But everything went wrong."  
  
"I had a wonderful time today, Theo," Lupin said, gently placing a hand on Theodore's good shoulder. Theodore raised his eyebrows skeptically, and Lupin laughed, "Well, except maybe for the almost being eaten by giant spiders part. But I loved the zoo and the boat ride and the picnic, even if we did get a little wet."  
  
"But I had everything planned so perfectly," Dylan said mournfully. "I still don't understand how everything went so wrong. Well, the moonwort thing was sort of spur of the moment. In hindsight, maybe taking advice from Hagrid wasn't such a good idea."  
  
"You think?" Theodore asked sarcastically.  
  
"It's not my fault he didn't mention the giant spiders!"  
  
"He probably thinks of them as harmless pets," Snape said dryly. "Listen to me, both of you. From what you've explained to me about Father's Day, I'd say that the most important part of it isn't a perfectly planned outing; it's about spending time together as a family."  
  
"And we certainly did that!" Lupin said with a grin.  
  
"We certainly did," Snape agreed with a faint smile. Then he added solemnly, "I'm very touched, and I'm sure Remus is as well, that the two of you went to such lengths to make this a special day for us. At the risk of sounding like a mawkish greeting card, it's the thought that counts."  
  
Dylan and Theodore looked immensely more cheerful. "Really?" they chorused.  
  
"Really," Lupin said firmly, sweeping them both into a fierce hug, before reaching out and pulling Snape into the embrace, too.  
  
"However," Snape continued once they had separated, "I don't understand why you didn't explain to us about Father's Day from the start."  
  
The boys grinned at each other sheepishly. "We wanted to surprise you," Dylan said.  
  
"Well, you certainly did!" Lupin laughed. "Come on, let's get Theo to St. Mungo's. I think the rest of us could do with a bit of healing, too."

***

As it happened, Takeshi Kimura, one of Snape's former Potions students, was on duty in the "Dangerous" Dai Llewellyn Ward for Serious Bites. "He'll be fine," the mediwizard assured them, after cleaning the wound and treating it with a few minor healing spells and a little more salve. He had also treated the minor cuts and scratches the rest of them had received. "The venom was very mild, considering the size of the spider. I suppose that it's large enough to overwhelm most of its prey by sheer strength, so it doesn't really need to paralyze its prey with poison." He frowned slightly. "Although I wonder what a spider of that size normally eats."  
  
"There's plenty of game in the forest," Lupin said with a shrug. "Rabbits, birds, maybe deer..."  
  
"People," Theodore added darkly.  
  
"Well, that's a good reason to stay out of the forest from now on," Takeshi chuckled. "Keep applying salve to the wound--three times a day should be sufficient. I can give you a jar, but I'm sure that the Professor's stock is better than anything I could make."  
  
Snape nodded, accepting the compliment as his due. "I have a sufficient supply on hand at home."  
  
"Well then, we're all done here," Takeshi said cheerfully. "The wound should heal without a scar within a few days, but if it doesn't seem to be getting better, come back and I'll have Healer Smethwyck take a look at it. But it looks like it's already healing fine."  
  
"Thank you, Takeshi," Lupin said gratefully. "Let's go home, boys; I think we've had enough adventure for one day."  
  
"Did you give them their surprise yet?" Takeshi whispered to Dylan, winking at him conspiratorially.  
  
"What surprise?" Snape asked suspiciously.  
  
"Oh, I almost forgot!" Dylan exclaimed, reaching into his pocket to pull out a small piece of parchment. It was trimmed with a fancy border of gold leaf, and in elegant Japanese calligraphy, it read, "This entitles the bearer to one full night at the Paradise Hotel."  
  
"It's a gift certificate," Theodore explained, when Snape and Lupin just stared at it in confusion. "You see, Granger also told us that people are supposed to give gifts to their fathers on Father's Day, but we didn't think you'd really want a necktie or a clay ashtray. So we thought you might enjoy a romantic getaway."  
  
"And we know that you like visiting Japan, so we asked Takeshi for advice, and he explained to us about love hotels," Dylan said innocently.  
  
A little too innocently. "Mr. Kimura," Snape said sternly to the young mediwizard, who was trying to quietly sneak out of the room. "Would you care to elaborate?"  
  
"Well, actually, my first suggestion was a weekend at an onsen, an inn with hot springs baths," Takeshi said, blushing. "But they told me that you had an appointment tomorrow in London, Professor."  
  
"Yes, that's right," Snape confirmed. "A Potions Master from France is here on business, and we're supposed to meet for lunch and discuss some research."  
  
"So since you really only have a few hours available to spend in Japan, I...ah...thought perhaps a love hotel might be more practical," Takeshi continued, his blush deepening.  
  
"And what exactly is a 'love hotel'?" Snape demanded, using his best professorial glare on his former student, the one that caused young Gryffindors to cower in fear.  
  
The mediwizard's face changed from red to white, and he stuttered, "Um...well...you see...Japan is an island nation, which means that there is a large population contained within a limited amount of space..."  
  
"Thank you for the geography lesson, Mr. Kimura," Snape said coldly. "But what does this have to do with the 'love hotel'?"  
  
"I'm getting there, sir," Takeshi said, cringing slightly. "With so many people living in a limited amount of space, privacy is very limited as well. Young couples need a place where they can, ah, get some...privacy. So love hotels came into existence, as a place where couples can go to, ah..."  
  
"Have sex," Snape finished bluntly.  
  
"I was going to say 'be alone,' but yes, that's correct," Takeshi replied, blushing furiously once more.  
  
"I suppose they're also useful for people having extramarital affairs," Snape mused, just to make the boy squirm a little more.  
  
"Yes, sir," Takeshi mumbled, looking even more embarrassed. "Although of course that wouldn't apply to you and Remus."  
  
"Of course not," Lupin agreed pleasantly, them smiled at Snape in a very sensual and possessive manner. "Wolves mate for life, and my wolf wants only Severus." His smile grew wider, exposing his pointed canine teeth, and he said, "I think a visit to a love hotel sounds like a splendid idea. Thank you very much, Takeshi."  
  
"You're welcome, but you should actually thank Dylan and Theodore, since they paid for the certificate," Takeshi mumbled, then fled the room; this time Snape allowed him to leave.  
  
The boys were blushing a little, but they also looked slyly pleased with themselves. "This Portkey will take you directly to the hotel," Dylan said, handing them a small bag of brocaded silk. "It's located in the magical section of Tokyo, so you don't have to worry about wearing Muggle clothing or using an illusion."  
  
"Speaking of clothing, we should probably get cleaned up a bit first," Lupin said, indicating their torn robes. "We look rather disreputable right now."  
  
So they returned home and changed their clothes, and Lupin asked, "Ready, Severus?"  
  
Severus thought it was a little silly to travel to another country just to have sex with Lupin, when they could just as well do the same here at home. But still, there was no point in wasting the boys' gift, and besides, perhaps a change in setting would add a little spice to their lovemaking.  
  
"I'm ready," he replied.  
  
Lupin opened the bag, revealing a shiny gold key within it. "So the Portkey is literally a key," he laughed. "How whimsical. Shall we, Severus?"  
  
Snape nodded, and they simultaneously laid their fingers over the key. As they vanished, he heard Dylan call out cheerfully, "Have a good time!"

***

They appeared in the lobby of the hotel, but there was no one at the registration desk. Snape was about to ring the bell for service, when a pretty girl clad in a silk kimono glided out and bowed deeply. "Welcome to the Paradise Hotel," she said in a sweet, musical voice.  
  
"Oh!" Lupin exclaimed in surprise. "You speak English."  
  
The girl smiled at them charmingly. "The hotel staff is alerted when a Portkey is used to enter the premises, and we were told to expect two gentlemen from England for this particular key. Do you have your gift certificate with you, sir?" Lupin presented her with certificate, and she bowed again as she accepted it. "Thank you, sir. Please allow me to show you to your room."  
  
There was something odd about the girl, and Snape stared at her closely as she led them up a flight of stairs and down a corridor. "Severus?" Lupin whispered. "You're going to make me jealous if you stare at the lovely young lady so intently."  
  
Lupin's tone of voice was joking, but Snape whispered back, "Don't be an idiot, Lupin. I'm not ogling the girl; I was trying to figure out who...or perhaps I should say 'what' she is."  
  
"What are you talking about, Severus?" Lupin asked, looking confused.  
  
The girl turned to face them, still smiling serenely. "No doubt the honored guest has noticed that I am not human. It is very perceptive of you, sir."  
  
She bowed her head, not so much as a servant would towards a customer, but more as a gesture of respect for his abilities--or so it seemed to Snape. He bowed in return and said, "You radiate a most peculiar magical aura, Miss. I have been trained to notice such things because of my...er...research." His experiments with the Dark Arts in Voldemort's service had helped him become more attuned to magical auras and signatures, but there was also the fact that she gave off absolutely no hint of any stray emotions. He couldn't be sure without casting an actual Legilimens spell, which could be considered an assault, but he could usually detect at least faint hints of emotion from most normal untrained humans. Which meant that she was either a highly skilled Occlumens--in which case, it was unlikely that she would be working as a mere maid in a hotel--or she was not human.  
  
"I am indeed a magical construct," the girl said. "I am a type of ofuda, or spell scroll, that has been given human form."  
  
"Ah, yes, it's a form of Japanese magic," Lupin said. "I remember Aric told me once about how Takeshi made a paper doll come to life. But why does the hotel use ofuda as employees? Is it to save on labor costs?" He added hastily, "Please forgive me if I'm being rude; I was just curious."  
  
The apology was probably unnecessary, since an animated paper doll was unlikely to be offended, but the girl smiled and said politely, "Not at all, sir; I would be happy to explain the reason. As you can imagine, many of our customers count on our discretion. This way, the customers can be assured that no human will ever lay eyes on them during their stay here."  
  
"That's very clever," Lupin said, and Snape nodded, although privately he thought that the doll could easily report to her master about the customers' identities. Still, if they were indiscreet, word would get around and the hotel would lose business, so it was in their interest to honor their customers' confidentiality.  
  
"Here is your room, sirs," the girl said, opening a door at the end of the hall to reveal a lushly furnished, and very sleek and modern-looking room. They stepped inside, and a thick, plush carpet cushioned their steps. A large bed was the centerpiece of the room, but to the side was a leather-upholstered couch and a television with one of those recording box things, and a stereo. On the opposite side was a shower and bath behind clear glass walls that gave not even the illusion of privacy...but privacy was hardly needed, Snape supposed, since the room was specifically designed for romantic trysts.  
  
The girl glided up to a counter built along one wall, and opened a small cupboard beneath it, which turned out to be a small, Muggle-style refrigerator. "This is the mini-bar," she explained. "You may help yourself to the snacks and drinks within. Of course, anything you consume will be charged to your account." Lupin hesitated, obviously wondering about the expense Theodore and Dylan would be incurring, and the girl hastily assured them, "Please do not worry. The gentlemen who purchased your certificate left a generous deposit that should cover any such expenses. Also, please feel free to make use of the videos and music discs that are available, and there are..." She demurely lowered her eyes. "...personal supplies in the nightstand drawers, should you require such. And you may adjust the lighting with the remote control on the nightstand." She paused to let the information sink in, then said, "Is there anything else you require?"  
  
"Uh, no, I think that covers it," Lupin replied, looking a little awed by the room.  
  
"Very well," the girl said. "If you should require anything, please ring the bell, and a servant shall be summoned to tend to your needs." She pointed at a delicately wrought silver bell sitting on the nightstand. "When your stay is over and you are ready to leave, touching the Portkey a second time will return you home. The Portkey holds only two magical charges, enough for a round trip, but should you wish to arrange a future visit, it can be recharged. Thank you for your business, and please enjoy your stay at the Paradise Hotel." The girl bowed deeply and exited the room, closing the door behind her.  
  
"Wow, this is amazing," Lupin said eagerly, and rushed over to examine the television and stereo.  
  
"It's all so very...Muggle," Snape said disdainfully. "I was expecting something a little more traditionally Japanese."  
  
"Well, I like it," Lupin said happily as he looked through the...Snape struggled to recall the term...compact discs, and put one in the stereo, and romantic music began playing. Then Lupin giggled, sounding like a child doing something naughty as he examined the videos. "They have a nice selection of pornography here," he said. "Featuring both heterosexual and homosexual couples, and a few threesomes."  
  
"The idea of watching strangers having sex does not appeal to me, Lupin," Snape said. It wasn't just the fact that the idea was distasteful to him, although it was. He also didn't like the idea of Lupin becoming aroused by the image of another man (or men), even if it was only on a television screen.  
  
"Me neither," Lupin agreed, much to Snape's relief. He wrapped his arms around Snape and said in a low, husky growl, "The only person I want to see having sex is you, with me."  
  
"I'm glad that we're agreed on that," Snape said, and kissed Lupin. They made their way to the bed, discarding their clothes along the way, until they tumbled down onto the mattress together.  
  
"Hmm, nicely springy," Lupin said with a grin as they bounced slightly. He reached over for the remote, and found that he could dim the lights to a more romantic level, approaching candlelight, with the flick of a switch. Another flick, and a panel on the ceiling slid back to reveal a mirrored surface. "Ooh, the ofuda girl didn't tell us about that!" he laughed, his cheeks taking on a warm glow in the dim light as he blushed.  
  
Snape reached over and hit the switch to conceal the mirrors again. "It would feel too much like having an audience," he said, suspecting that his own face was turning red.  
  
"I think I'd feel a little self-conscious, too," Lupin agreed, although he did cast a speculative look up at the ceiling, as if he were considering the idea. Then he opened the top drawer of the nightstand, which contained condoms, tissues, and lubricant. The one beneath it contained a variety of sex toys that caused Lupin to blush again. "You know, I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I'm not exactly sure what some of these things are for."  
  
"I have an idea, although not from personal experience," Snape said, trying to sound blase about it. "Lucius and some of the others used to brag about their...ah...conquests and experiments when we were in school."  
  
"That's why there were all those rumors about Slytherin orgies when we were students," Lupin teased. "Did you want to try out some of these toys?"  
  
"Perhaps later, if you're feeling adventurous," Snape replied. "It might be old-fashioned of me, but all I really want is you, without any unnecessary accessories or accouterments."  
  
"Why Severus," Lupin said, smiling tenderly as he reached out to pull Snape into his arms. "That may be the most romantic thing you've ever said to me."  
  
"Well, don't tell anyone," Snape murmured as he brushed his lips against Lupin's neck. "You'll ruin my reputation."  
  
Lupin laughed and leaned back against the headboard, and they heard the sound of a soft "click" and suddenly the bed started vibrating.  
  
"Oh!" Lupin exclaimed, turning to examine the switches on the headboard. "It seems that our hostess also neglected to mention these. Perhaps she wanted to leave us a few surprises to discover on our own."  
  
"Will you just turn the bloody thing off?!" Snape shouted.  
  
"Ah, let's see...is it this one?" The bed began vibrating faster. "No...ah, here it is!" And blessedly, the bed stopped moving. The two of them stared at each other for a moment, then burst into laughter.  
  
"Happy Father's Day, Severus," Lupin chuckled as he lay back on the bed, pulling Snape down on top of him.  
  
"Happy Father's Day, Remus," Snape said, sealing Lupin's mouth with a kiss.


End file.
